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First we learn to listen to our bodies. Our bodies are ALWAYS telling us things. That gut feeling that told you not to order the meal that made everyone else sick? Call it gut instinct or intuition - but your body knew.
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We acknowledge systemic conditions that have shaped our relationship to communication and to each other. Power dynamics are ever-present, which isn't inherently a bad thing. It's helpful when we are able to reclaim our own sense of agency within these dynamics, so that we can communicate our needs effectively.
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We heal and understand our personal and ancestral traumas. Trauma disconnects us from our body, which is why the idea of listening to the body can feel strange to begin with. As trauma is understood and integrated, the words we speak become more authentically aligned to who we are and what we seek.
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We develop an emotional vocabulary. Words are AWESOME. The more we have in our pocket, the more accurately we can explain our experience. And the more accurately we explain what's happening inside of us, the easier it is for people on the outside to understand.
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We practice, we practice, we practice. This stuff isn't theoretical. It is practical and real-life oriented. We learn a tool, we try it. We see what fails, we see what works. We get better at being authentic in relationships that matter to us. And we get better at choosing relationships that value our authenticity.
Intro to Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication
Speak up without blowing up
$350 USD
About The Course
DOES THIS SOUND
LIKE YOU?
- You set boundaries with your mom and then feel like sh*t for not picking up her calls.
- You and your partner have the same fight 20 times in a row.
- You leave every hard conversation feeling like you're the problem.
do you relate to these conflict patterns?
You freeze, shut down, or lash out - even though you know it's not helping.
You leave conversations beating yourself up and asking, "Why did I say that?"
You over-explain everything and things still go nowhere.
Your brain can clearly see what's happening, but your body keeps pulling you to patterns of the past.
You try to keep the peace, but betray yourself at every turn.
These patterns persist, because you learned how to talk -
but you were never taught how to communicate.
Here's what you need:
Somatics
Emotional Vocabulary
Rupture & Repair Framework
And then practice, practice, practice.
Because healthy communication isn't magic.
It's muscle memory.
Using this course, you will be able to:
- Have hard conversations without breaking down.
- Say what you mean without second-guessing yourself.
- Interrupt harmful behaviors before they spiral into disaster.
- Repair trust after things go sideways.
WHAT IS
Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication?
I STARTED STUDYING NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION (NVC) SO THAT I COULD WIN DURING ARGUMENTS WITH MY AMMA (MOTHER).
I stayed studying NVC because I found it to be an incredible tool for self-awareness and effective communication.
I developed the framework for Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication (DNVC), because I saw how conventional NVC ignored the existence of systemic oppression, individual and collective trauma, and the truth of real-world power dynamics.
Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication differs from conventional NVC in the following ways:
This course is for you if:
- You want connection that doesn't come at the cost of your boundaries or values.
- You want your voice and needs to be heard while honoring the needs of others too.
- You care about genuine connection - even when it's messy, imperfect, and not wrapped in a bow.
Course content includes:
- 5 easy-to-complete video modules covering the basics of Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication
- Bonus modules on abuse and power dynamics + ancestral healing
- Interactive somatic exercises
- Journaling and reflection prompts
FAQs
How long will I have access to the course?
The course is yours for life. Move through it and return to it as you need.
What do I do if I'm learning these tools but others aren't?
The hallmark of healthy communication is not whether it's "right" but whether it's effective.
These tools will equip you to speak thoughtfully and honestly to a range of people, regardless of where they are in their own communication journey.
Will it be better for me to take this course alone or with someone?
That's up to you. Learning is always fun in community, but the content is designed for you to be able to move through solo.
Is there a community component of the course?
There is not a community component to the self-paced course, but you are always welcome to join a monthly practice group.
About Me
My journey with Non-Violent Communication (NVC) has been a fortunate one.
I was introduced to the tools by Jeyanthy Siva in 2002. We share a home country and a mother tongue. The tools I learned from her kickstarted a change for me and my own mother, as we both began to study NVC and saw how it transformed our relationship.
As I was studying NVC in the United States, something felt off to me. I didn't have language at the time to name it. I left conventional NVC spaces in 2011. I kept the tools close to my heart and used them in my personal and professional life. I began working in suicide prevention, rape-crisis advocacy, and direct crisis response for system-involved youth.
Around the same time, I began going back to my home country, and I was lucky enough to work with my mentor (whom I call Jeyanthy Acca, which means big sister) in NVC trainings she was leading. She introduced me to the concept of Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication (DNVC) by delivering the tools in a culturally responsive way and acknowledging the contexts and histories that shape our understanding of violence and oppression.
Fast forward to 2017. I had completed my master's degree in occupational therapy and continued serving populations impacted by system oppression and the corollary mental health fallouts - serious mental illness, substance abuse, and gender-based violence.
Jeyanthy Acca invited me to assist an NVC retreat she was at, which included a specific focus on power and privilege. It was my first time attending a training of this kind, and it prompted me to realize that I had been gatekeeping my own offerings.
This is where my DNVC framework was born.
The work focuses on acknowledging our individual and collective trauma while uplifting our brilliance and capabilities. The work is inherently queer and oriented towards possibility.
